Blimey, Chris, what another steaming night.

You can say that again, Torps, that certainly was a session Gazza and ‘Five Bellies’ would have been proud of.

Do you mean a drinking session or a musical session?

Give us a break, Torps, the fat midfielder isn’t exactly known for his boozing.

Gee, Chris, it’s good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour after all this time.

Well, Torps, I’ll leave it to you to explain our collective absence from the ‘Innscene’, since it was your fault.

Cheers my dear. Well, were do I start? I’ve been working in America for a while, as an erm... as a record producer in fact. Yeah, I’ve been mixing Jennifer Rush’s new album "The Power Of Love - The Best Of Jennifer Rush". It features no less than fourteen new versions of her hit single "The Power Of Love".

No you haven’t, you lying get. You were working in America alright, but as an ‘au pair’.

Yeah, alright, I was working as an ‘au pair’. I am probably the oldest ‘au pair’ in history, but the couple asked for me expressly.

They were desperate, and they knew you were cheap.

Chris, I prefer the term "competitively priced". But yes, there hasn’t been a "Rabbit Stew" for a while because I was working as an ‘au pair’ in America for a month, OK?

But, Torps, there hasn’t been a "Rabbit Stew" for over a month.

Well, the contract was for a month, but I had a little trouble with the courts afterwards.

Enough said. Right, to work. Where were we this week then Torps?

Well, Chris, we were lucky enough to be invited along to see three bands at the ‘Duchess’ - Seratone, The G-Men, and Undersee.

And did they let you in this time, Torps?

They certainly did, the only reason I didn’t get in last time was because it was my wife’s birthday and they didn’t want her upsetting.

Who could possibly be offended by your presence?

I was a bit the worse for wear. You know, Jimmy Riddled.

Aren’t you always?

Not necessarily, anyway, on with the show, as they say. The "Duchess Of York" really needs no introduction, show me a drinker who hasn’t been in and I’ll show you a liar, so I’ll talk about the bands.

Go on then , who was first up?

First up were North East band Seratone, apparently Seratone is something to do with brain chemicals. They are a 4-piece, with a reputation for upstaging less confident bands they are meant to be supporting, and, luckily for us, they write their own songs, so we were in for something a bit different. Which is nice.

Torps, did you notice something missing from their line-up?

What you mean the non-existent drummer?

Yeah, they play with a drum-machine, making their sound a sort of thrash meets punk meets electropop.

Sort of like Blip-Blop version of "God Save The Queen" by MegaDeath.

Cor, Torps, your musical knowledge is quite astounding.

I like to keep my finger on the pulse, Chris. By the way, what’s this Ricky Ashtell like?

Ricky Ashtell? Do you mean Rick Astley?

Astley, Ashtell, it doesn’t matter how you spell his name, is he any good?

Yeah, he rocks, Torps. Right now, somewhere in the world, there’s someone groovin’ on down to Ricky.

Good, I’m thinking of buying little Harrison a copy of his album for his birthday.

Oh dear. Next up on to that famous stage were The G-Men, who are a 5-piece of the, I hope they don’t mind me saying, older generation blasting their way through Saxon, Judas Priest, AC/DC, ZZ Top, that sort of thing. And doing it very well, it’s always a good test of a band when you, Torps, think it’s the Jukebox playing.

That was the Jukebox.

So The G-Men were just miming then?

Well, OK, I made a mistake, but I’m not senile yet, I can still give you young journalists a run for your money.

Go on then, give us the benefit of your ‘experience’.

Alright, I will. Unfortunately, Chris, I felt they they were playing in front of the wrong crowd, that they weren’t appreciated by the younger element of the audience. Put them on stage at the annual music event in Myrtle Park, Bingley, and the crowd would be loving it. Bobbing away to the beat. You might even get someone "stage-diving". In fact they made me feel like I was in a time warp, revisiting my hedonistic days of non-stop drink and drugs. A strange and distant time when I only had two ex-wives.

That must have been a while ago, what is the latest score? Four? Five?

Only three, but I was married to Cassandra twice.

I think that’s enough of your sordid life. Now we come to the headline band of the night, Undersee. What did you think, Torps?

Well, again, isn’t it nice to see a band who have they confidence to play their own songs?

Yes, it’s lovely, Torps. Carry on.

Undersee are another 5-piece, Saz, Simon, Bryan, Steve, and Eddie, who are obviously influenced by Youth’s doyens, Oasis, not that that is a down point. They seem to have harnessed the raw power, but without the obnoxious, self-centred attitude, thankfully.

Their influences seem to range, much like Seratone, and the soon-to-be-famous local band PC World, from one extreme to the other, encapsulating a bit of thrash metal, a bit of eighties rock, and a bit of Ocean Colour Scene. And it all comes together to sound a bit like the Smiths, but that may be partly due to the singer’s vocal inflections.

To me, Chris, it was like another trip down memory lane, and my lane is longer than most, so bear with me. Yes, it reminded me of when I used to live in The Village.

What Otley?

Nope, Greenwich Village, USA. I used to watch a little known American band playing in the local venues, the sorts of places they called "Milk Bars" in my day, except lots of arty types used to hang around them at this time. Anyway, I don’t know if you’ve heard of the band before, three lads and a lass on drums, they called themselves "The Velvet Underground", and they sounded not unlike Undersee. And to be honest that’s not a comparison to be taken lightly, since they virtually invented alternative rock.

For once, Torps, I think you may be right. They seem to have the same sense of drama, since they had to borrow a guitar string from Seratone before taking stage. And the way their songs had the story telling element Lou Reed would have been proud of.

And it’s not that they just write good songs, they can’t half perform them aswell.

Anyway, I’m sorry to have to cut you off, Torps, but we’ve reached that point of no return again, the Rabbit’s verdict.

Before we find out what it’ll be, Chris, can I just thank all three bands for a cracking night, it was up there with the best.

Right, Torps, are you excited, our first contact with the Rabbit for a while.

Yeah, Chris, what will it be?

The Rabbit’s Verdict: it’s good to be back.