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the hoobs

first published on oilzine.com

We all know that students have too much time on their hands, and what do they do all day to fill this void? Watch TV. Very productive.

But ask any student the answer to the following question, and their authoritative answer will astound even the most hardened cynic.

"Complete the following list: This Morning, The Teletubbies, Neighbours, Countdown, …"

And of course, the answer is The Hoobs. What? Never heard of them? You should not get out more. The latest in cult student TV is this little known Channel 4 kids’ programme.

So students’ time hasn’t been wasted after all. That sweaty guy who sits in the corner of the pub rolling dog-ends might just be the difference between winning and losing the pub quiz. Make use of his knowledge.

But if you don’t really want to make acquaintances with someone whose hair has surpassed the ‘beehive’ style and entered the ‘birdsnest’ genre, we present the low-down on ‘The Hoobs’.

The Premise:

The Hoobs (Iver, Tula, Groove, Roma and Hubba Hubba) are on a mission to complete the Hoobopaedia, an enormous reference database. Hubba Hubba is back on Hoobland, and receives reports from Iver, Tula and Groove, who are travelling the universe in the Hoobmobile. Roma is a roaming reporter, who supplies information to the rest when on location somewhere.

Every day the Hoobs have the task of finding out the answer to a question about the world they are visiting. They are helped in this task by Tiddlypeeps, who, surprisingly, are a fountain of knowledge.

The Hoobs speak their own language (they’re from a different planet, after all) but strangely it has a resemblance to English (what a coincidence).

The Players:

Iver: He’s the natural leader of the Hoobs, he’s a doer and is keen to get things moving. Full of energy, but he sometimes should slow down and think things through.

Tula: Carefree and exuberant, Tula is keen to have fun at any opportunity. Her enthusiasm is infectious and she often inspires the others to carry on. Sometimes finds herself playing the ‘mother’ role to the others.

Groove: Laid-back and cool, we never actually see him taking drugs, but he probably does (just like Dylan on Magic Roundabout). He can be very obsessive when he gets an idea, and is meticulous. Also the most musical of the Hoobs.

Roma: Independent and fearless, she is perfect for the role as an outside reporter. Has a wide-range of interests and seems to know a little about everything. Could be accused of losing sight of the task at hand, often becoming preoccupied with things she’s found.

Hubba Hubba: Excitable, loving and encouraging, he acts as the ‘father’ figure to the group. Lives on the home planet of Hoobland, from where he compiles the Hoobopaedia. Always available to lend a helping hand or a sympathetic ear.

The Hoobmobile: The home to three of the Hoobs, Iver, Tula and Groove, and their only means of transport. Actually an Earth bus that has been adapted for Hoob activity, it has an engine that is operated by the Motorettes (not a Motown group), a musical trio called Twang, Tootle and Timp.

Tiddlypeeps: Earth children who help the Hoobs answer questions and complete their task. Especially loved by the Hoobs, who find Peeps (adults) a bit scary.

The language:

Hoobledoop! - hello!

Hoobledoop! Hoobledoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! - a more elaborate 'hello' with accompanying gestures and much clapping.

Hoobletoodledoo! - goodbye!

Hoobledoobledooper - super!

Hoobacious - marvellous!

Hoobelly groobelly - lovely!

Peeps - adult humans.

Tiddlypeeps - children.

Squigglytiddlepeep - baby.

Hoobybooboo - a mistake.

Twizzletuft - the fluffy top knot on a Hoob's head.

Hoobysandwichhammer - a special hammer used to whack cheese sandwiches. Hoobs like their sandwiches nice and flat.

Hoobofizz - the Hoobs' favourite fizzy drink, made from hoobnips.

Hooblebobber - a big soft floaty flower that the Hoobs use for hooblebobbing on water.

Hoobledangler - a cork on the end of a string. Nothing makes Hoobs laugh more than a hoobledangler.

So there you have it, no more need to talk to Stig of the Dump during quiz night. You now have all the Hoob knowledge you need.

If however, you would like to learn more, then you can see the Hoobs everyday on Channel 4 at 6 and 6.30 am. (Repeated at 11am for all you workshy tax-dodgers)

Or find out more here:



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