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saving money

first published on oilzine.com

Auntie Johnny's tips for saving money.

 

Using some string and those plastic cups you get from vending machines as bras or cod-pieces (or possibly both if you're a ladyboy), could save you up to 200 per year.

 

 

To make a bra

 

Ingredients: 3 pieces of string (2 long, 1 short), 2 plastic cups. [see illustration1]

 

Recipe: First make two holes just below the rim of each of the cups [marked GH and JK on illus.1].

 

 

Next, thread end A of the string through hole G and knot end A [illus.2].

 

Repeat this step for end C and hole K.

 

Now, using the short piece of string, thread end E through hole H and end F through hole J. Knot ends E and F. [illus. 3]

 

You now have a ready to use bra.

 

All you need to do is squeeze those tits into the cups and tie ends B and D into a knot behind your back (make sure it's tight). A lovely reef knot works wonders here [illus. 4]

 

Finally, simply slip on a t-shirt for that lovely Madonna look.

 

 

 

To make a cod-piece

 

Ingredients: 2 pieces of string (both same size), 1 plastic cup. [see illustration 5]

 

Recipe: First make two holes just below the rim of the cup. (as though you're making a bra) [marked E and F on illus.5]

 

Now, thread ends A and C through holes E and F, respectively, and knot the ends. [illus. 6]

 

 

The cod-piece is now ready to wear.

 

Simply insert your man into the cup, then take ends B and D and tie them behind your back (I've found that around the base of the spine is best). [illus. 7]

 

Finally, strut around the room for the perfect Cameo look.

 

P.S.

If you have a problem with the size of the bra-cup you could try using buckets instead.

If you have a problem with the size of the cod-piece try using a thimble.

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all text, design + images © Stephen Pryke