Auntie Johnny's tips for saving money.
Using some string and those plastic cups you get from vending machines as bras or cod-pieces (or possibly both if you're a ladyboy), could save you up to £200 per year.
To make a bra
Ingredients: 3 pieces of string
(2 long, 1 short), 2 plastic
cups. [see illustration1]
Recipe: First make two holes just below the rim of each of the cups [marked GH and JK on illus.1].
Next, thread end A of the
string through hole G and knot end A [illus.2].
Repeat this step for end C and hole K.
Now, using
the short piece of
string, thread end E through hole
H and end F through hole J. Knot ends E and F. [illus.
3]
You now have a ready to use bra.
All you need to do is squeeze those tits into the cups and tie ends B and D into a knot behind your back (make sure it's tight). A lovely reef knot works wonders here [illus. 4]
Finally, simply slip on a t-shirt for that lovely Madonna look.
To make a cod-piece
Ingredients: 2 pieces of string (both same size), 1 plastic cup. [see
illustration 5]
Recipe: First make two holes just below the rim of the cup. (as though you're making a bra) [marked E and F on illus.5]
Now, thread ends A and C through holes E and F, respectively, and knot the ends. [illus.
6]
The cod-piece is now ready to wear.
Simply insert your man into the cup, then take ends B and D and tie them behind your back (I've found that around the
base of the spine is best).
[illus. 7]
Finally, strut around the room for the perfect Cameo look.
P.S.
If you have a problem with the size of the bra-cup you could try using buckets instead.
If you have a problem with the size of the cod-piece try using a thimble.